Not Good Enough
by I. W. Cullen
Summary: Whoa, this one starts out dark, I was bored so I decided to just write this.I know where this one is going it will have a happy ending, ending in another femshash I think. WARNING 2 Cullens die in the first chapter.Rated  M for torture, and violence.
1. Chapter 1

Hello, My name is Isabella Swan, although I prefer to go by Bella. Isabella sounds too old, like a grandmother's name. I will never have to worry about that. You see, I am a vampire. How I came to be a vampire, is a long story, but if you are interested I have nothing but time to tell you the story.

It all started the summer before my Junior year of High School. My parents were divorced, my mother took me as a young child with her and she moved from a small town in the state of Washington called Forks. We moved to Phoenix Arizona, where the sun shone constantly, it hardly ever rained, and I was happy. Happy until my mother met and married a minor league baseball player named Phil.

Not that there was anything wrong with Phil, he was a nice guy, and he said and did all the right things as far as I was concerned, and I could not fault how he treated my mother, although older than him he treated her like a goddess. But he traveled, a lot of the time playing Baseball, and my mother wanted to go with him, but since she was a good mother and loyal to me, she stayed with me at home, but although she tried to hide her feelings, I could tell, so I decided to let her off the hook and announced I would like to go stay with my Father in Forks.

I loved my father, but hated Forks. I shared my mothers opinion of Forks Washington, dismal and depressing.

So I moved to my fathers house, and was enrolled into high school, and quickly made some friends. I had never really been popular in Arizona, but here I was like a celebrity, and it was when I met a boy named Edward Cullen when all my problems began.

You see Edward Cullen was as I found out a Vampire. And also a complete and total asshat. I now hate him for what my life, or well death has become. Then way I see it he made me fall in love with him, then he got all guilty about it and made his whole family move away. I had made up my mind I wanted to be a vampire so I could be with him forever and live with his family whom I loved with all my heart.

I was almost turned by a nomad named James when he tricked me into coming to see him, but the Cullens killed him, and his mate vowed revenge.

I thought his Family would one day change me into one of them so I could be with them, until the day of my 18th Birthday. Alice my BFF or so I thought, his sister and the cutest little Vampire in the history of forever, insisted on a party. I hate parties, but Alice is an unstoppable force of nature when it comes to parties, so a party it was. I however ruined the party when I got a paper-cut because I am clumsy and can do nothing right. The drop of blood that came out was enough to get Jasper, Edwards "brother" to try to attack me. Edward threw me across the room almost killing me to get me out of the way, and he stopped Jasper, but I was all cut to hell on a broken vase, Carlisle, Edwards "Father" who is a doctor stitched me up and I was not mad or anything actually blamed myself but the damage was done, Edward decided without even talking with me that they were putting me in danger, and had to leave so I could have a "Normal" life.

Yeah, I know what you are thinking "Well son of a BITCH!" But at the time I was devastated, He took me out in the woods for a walk to tell me he didn't want me any more, and I was just a distraction, and was safer and better off without him. Then he said goodbye and just took off. I followed after him crying, begging promising anything just to get him to reconsider. But I was just a plain ordinary old human who was not as pretty enough to hold his interest for long. In my haste to follow after him tears filling my eyes and blurring my vision I was hopelessly lost, deep in the woods. I looked around, and couldn't even see any signs of a trail I left when crashing through to woods. So I just did what my father taught me and just sat down to wait for someone to find me. I sat there crying for hours, screaming for Edward, for Alice, for anyone to come back. Hoping someone would find me soon so I could get into my truck and drive over to their house and hopefully catch someone before they left so I could beg and offer anything to get them to stay, or take me with them or change me in hopes I would be pretty enough to capture Edwards interest again.

I got found all right. The mate of the Vampire James, Her name was Victoria, you know the one who swore to get revenge? Well she must have been watching, because as soon as the Cullens abandoned me she came to get her revenge on the insignificant human girl who was the cause of her mates death. She grabbed me by the arm and lifted me up in front of her glaring at me with those red eyes.

"Remember me Bitch? You took from me the only thing that mattered to me. So now imagine how sweet my revenge is going to be because you just lost your mate. If I wasn't so angry I would be laughing now. SO where was I?" She said then she squeezed my arm and I felt and heard the bone snap. It didn't hurt at first, I have broken bones before, her mate James in fact had broken my leg, and it is funny they don't really hurt at first, but I knew I was in for a long agonizing death and just collapsed, not even bothering to scream when she began breaking other bones. She took a hold of my arm and looked at my wrist with her mates bite mark on it and became even more enraged and bent my wrist backwards snapping it. And began twisting the fingers on that hand backwards snapping bones and dislocating my fingers.

The whole time she kept up a steady dialog asking me how I liked it, and if it hurt as much as my love leaving me never to return. She kept at it for hours, and the broken bones had long since begun to hurt the pain was overwhelming. She wouldn't let me pass out. She would slap me awake if I fainted from the pain, one time she slapped me so hard my teeth were loose on that side of my face. She laughed the whole time. And said when she was done torturing me this way she would change me, then once the change was over she was going to dismember me and burn one piece of me at a time to ash forcing me to watch. As bad as it hurt, I tried to take comfort in the fact that it didn't matter, because I would be dead eventually and the pain she was inflicting was better than a lifetime of the pain of losing what had become my whole reason for being.

True to her word, she bit me, venom flowing into me, the pain was unimaginable, I screamed. I screamed till my voice was gone and nothing came out but air, but I couldn't stop screaming, then the venom began working on repairing the damage to my body my broken mangled body and my voice came back too and my screams continued. Victoria laughed and kicked me occasionally laughing and telling me all manner of horrible things. Now understand, as I tell you this horrible story, I am sparing you from the worst of it. Let me say she was diabolical, and there were indignities she forced me to endure, promises of how she was going to go after all of the people in this town she had seen me with and knew I loved, including my father. And she had found my Mother, and would get her too, making her watch while she tortured her new mate to death the same way she was doing to me. I begged for mercy, not for me but for those I loved.

I hoped that she was just saying these things to get her revenge upon me, but knowing she was not. So I did the only thing I could, I screamed, and writhed in pain and suffered while Victoria Laughed. Sitting next to a campfire she had just started for me to burn in when the transformation was over.

Finally after what was an unmeasurable length of time for me, the burning slowly faded. And I died, breathing my last breath as a living human being as my heart thudded in my chest and stopped. As Victoria approached me out of the forest into the clearing came 5 of the most gigantic wolves I had ever seen, they were as big around as grizzly bears and as tall as ponies. The pounced on Victoria and began tearing her apart throwing pieces of her into the fire. I did the only thing I could think to do, I tore off my blood soaked jacket and threw it back at them and ran escaping into the forest. I ran for days until I was somewhere where I could not read the road signs any more. I realized I was in French Canada.

I learned later that those wolves were boys from the tribe the Quilluetes some of them are shapeshfters. Including Jacob black he found me as I spied on my father one day wishing I could tell him I was not dead not really, but knowing I could never have contact with me ever again. Jacob walked up on me at the edge of the woods, so intent on watching my father grieve, all these months later still and lost in my own grief Jacob spoke to me. I was going to run but he quickly told me it was OK, and he wanted to tell me about that day, that I had a right to know.

That is when I learned about the wolves, and Alice had seen a vision of me being tortured and Edward had returned to save me, but arrived after I had already fled, and seeing my bloody jacket and the wolves chucking body parts into the fire, he assumed the worst that it was he fault, and I was dead,not bothering to stay and read the wolves minds to learn what happened, so feeling guilty he went to Volterra and provoked them into ending his existence, Jasper went after him to try to stop him, but since he was also a Cullen, he was implicated and blamed and was also destroyed alongside Edward.

Stupid Edward, you didn't even want me, what were you thinking? Why? And poor Jasper, and my friend even if she didn't care enough to stay after Edward got everyone else to just leave me, I still loved her. Alice now without her Mate.

I asked Jacob how he knew all this, he told me Carlisle had called their Alpha Sam and gotten the details from him about Victoria and how I was now a cold one, and Carlisle in turn told them about the loss of Edward and Jasper.

I turned and ran sobbing the whole time ran to the ocean and swam heading west. All my fault, because I was not enough for Edward, because I was an accident magnet, and cut my finger, all of this my fault. The love of my life dead, Jasper, My Alice my Best friend, forever without her mate, I swam down down down hoping the ocean depths would crush me, but knowing they wouldn't when I got to the bottom, I just held onto a large rock and sat immobile for I do not know how long. Long enough for my clothes to begin growing sea life, long enough for the burning in my throat to become a raging fire, until it was my constant companion, but I reveled in the pain, on some level enjoying the suffering that I deserved for what I had caused. Finally I decided I would do the only thing I could think of. I would find the Cullens, and present myself to them for my destruction. I had no way to atone for the loss and pain I had caused them. It would at least tie up the loose end of why did I get to go on when they lost a son, a brother, a mate.

I swam to the surface, and I then headed east toward the sunrise, and the west coast of North America. I did not know where to begin my search, but I would find some clothes then go to a public library and begin searching for cloudy rainy climates and search those areas for the Cullen Family. I remember them telling me about another family of Vegetarians they knew in Denali Alaska. I could start there I suppose maybe I would get lucky. I would have to be careful, if they found out who I was maybe they were close enough to the Cullens that they knew about Edward and Jasper and would kill me on sight?

Well I did not want that, It was all I could do to give the Cullens that. It was their right after what I had done to cause them so much pain.


	2. Chapter 2

I reached the shore I landed somewhere in Oregon. I moved inland careful to avoid being seen and Found a clothing store that was closed with a going out of business banner out in front. So I thought if I was going to steal, I was not going to find a target that would be hurt less by the theft. Once I was inside, I was immediately filled with sadness over what my life had become, it was a designer clothes store, I recognized the labels from Alice's frequent attempts to share her love of fashion with me. In an attempt to honor Jasper's memory and my friend Alice, I picked out something she would have loved to see me in but I was always too stubborn to let her play Bella Barbie.

I Looked in the mirror and sobbed as I looked at the beautiful vampire who was looking back at me. My eyes just having faded to gold from that angry red color. Now I was pretty, but no Edward to see it. I knew the sorrow Victoria felt now I thought, although I saw her suffering end horribly. I know you are thinking how could I feel that way, since she tortured me and all the things she promised to do to me and those I loved, well it all comes back to it was my fault I was not good enough to hold Edwards attention so he wouldn't abandon me so Victoria was there then to be destroyed, and not smart enough to not go running into James trap, and setting that whole chain of events up.

So I grabbed several more outfits, then went into the back room where I found a bank bag in a deskdrawer full of cash, obviously their cash to put into the registers for the day. Well, I wasn't going to be greedy I would only take enough to get me a map so I could find Denali. I would run there, no point in flying or taking a bus or train. Took one 20 dollar bill and put everything else where I found it taking a large designer handbag to put the rest of my stolen outfits into, then I snuck out the back quickly, all of this I did in less than 10 minutes moving at vampire speed not knowing if there was an alarm system and not wanting to encounter any police.

I ran a few miles until I came upon a truck stop, I thought perfect they should have maps here, for truckers to buy. They did, but my luck nothing for Alaska... I was ready to smash something, then I thought, well, let me ask. I took a breath, then walked to the counter and using as little breath as possible asked "Excuse me I am looking for a map of Alaska but you didn't have any in the display, do you have any in the back?"

The clerk didn't say anythinng just shook his head at me like I was stupid and walked over to the display and grabbed a map of Washington, then I noticed the small print it said Washington, Including western Canada and Alaska. I was so stupid...

I paid for the map agreeing with the clerks parting comment when I was out of human hearing range, "Stupid broad, why don't they ever read the whole title?"

I ran to a park and figured out how I was going to get to Alaska. I plotted the route close to major interstates but avoiding population centers. I had done OK around humans, being OK with the burning in my throat, but I did not want to add to my crimes, and my failures, and kill anyone else.

It took me all night and part of the next day to reach Denali. The whole way I wondered how I was going to find them when I got there, I couldn't exactly go door to door, that would take forever, but once I got into Denali, I smelled it. There is no mistaking that smell. Vampire. It smelled beautiful. I followed my nose and came upon a huge house, it was a log cabin. Giant like a 30 room log cabin.

I cautiously walked up to the front door and knocked. A lovely vampire answered. I was at a loss, I had found them so quickly I had not even figured out my cover story yet so I improvised. I was afraid they might know my name, so I said. "Hello, My name is Issa, I heard there was a family here like me, and was wondering if you had room to for another?" I was mentally kicking myself, feeling stupid. But then another vampire inside called "Who is it Tanya?"

She answered after looking at me funny "One like us named... Issa". The voice called out "Well don't be rude invite her in so we can all meet her"

So she stepped back and motioned me inside, then walked past me indicating I should follow her into the living room. Then several Vampires walked into the living room sitting down and indicated I should have a seat also.

"Hello, my name is Elizar, Please relax we will not harm you, I promise you. Now why don't you tell us what brings you to denali?"

I took a deep breath and thought for a second, "I was recently changed, and didn't want to drink human blood, I heard of a coven in Washington that didn't drink human blood, from some nomads, and when I got to their house they were gone, then I heard about you, uh, from some other nomads, do you know about the Family in Washington? Maybe how I could find them?" I asked.

Before he could speak the doorbell rang and Tanya Disappeared to answer the door. I heard Tanya say "My god Alice? What happened? Are you OK?" It had to be Alice Cullen, she must have seen a vision of me coming here. Well, that simplifies things, I stood up and turned around, Alice pushed past Tanya.

"Is she here yet?" Alice asked. I looked back at the denali coven, they looked at me knowingly, they knew who I was, Alice had called ahead, and here I added to my crimes by lying to their faces. But I was surprised when Alice saw me and ran at me and threw her arms around me sobbing "Oh Bella, thank god I found you! Jasper, they killed my Jasper Bella, and Edward, Oh, Bella, none of this would have happened if I hadn't left you, can you ever forgive me? I am so sorry Bella." She continued to sob her whole body shaking.

I did the only thing I could, I put my arms around my friend and comforted her. "Alice, what are you talking about this is my fault, My clumsiness, my stupidity at falling for James trap, and being too plain to keep Edward's interest. I am so sorry, I wish I could give you your Jasper back, but I won't fight you can take your revenge on me. I know I deserve it for causing you this pain."

Alice's crying stopped and she pushed back from me still holding onto my shoulders. "Bella, you can't seriously believe any of this is YOUR fault?' She looked puzzled.

"Alice, whose fault could it be, of course it's all my fault. I can take you through it step by step, and it is all my fault!" I looked down.

"Bella, Bella, Bella... What have I done..." Alice released my shoulders and began holding herself sobbing and she fell to her knees. The denali family came over to us, and helped Alice up and led us both over to the sofa.

"Hello Bella, my name is Carmen, I am Elizar's mate. I think I can help, that is if you two will listen, and let me?"

Alice stopped sobbing and looked up and nodded. Watching Alice, I did also.

"Now, who is responsible for what can wait, you may in time blame yourselves still, or blame each other, or blame those responsible for their parts, you may forgive yourselves and others or you may not and hold onto the hate and sorrow inside yourselves, that can also wait. What has happened to you both is you both are survivors of horrible tragedy, Bella your being left by those you held dearest who thought they were doing the right thing, only to have you fall into the hands of an evil hate filled monster." She then turned to Alice "Alice, sweetie, you were forced to leave your only friend you ever made on your own, your Bella, whom you love with every fiber of your being whom you love enough to have left her because Edward guilt-ed you into thinking it was for Bella's sake, only to then get a vision of the horror of what Victoria Did to Bella, you told Edward, who of course ran to Bella's rescue, only to like Edward act based on the assumption of the worst case scenario, you seeing Bella as one of us sent Jasper after Edward, only to watch helplessly in a vision your brother and your mate being destroyed by the Volturi for Edwards crime of walking out into daylight into a crowded square."

"You both still love each other It is as plain as the nose on Elizar's face" Elizar interrupted "HEY!"

I had to smile at that. I couldn't help it. Carmen smiled at her mate then continued. "You both need to grieve, you have both lost much, but there is reason for hope, Bella, the Cullens only left because Edward thought it would be better for you if you were allowed to continue as a human, but he was the only one who wanted to leave. The others all argued against it, but since you were Edwards it was his decision, he has had to move before because of the others and it would not have been fair if they would not do the same for him. You should return with Alice to the Cullens, whatever your reasons for your deception when you arrived here we forgive you we knew of course who you were Alice told us to expect you, we all hope to get to know you, please visit when you have finished grieving."

Carmen then turned to Alice "Alice what happened is horrible, the worst loss one of us can face is the loss of a mate. It was not your fault, just a sensless waste, the Volturi are quick to judge, and quick to act, they are not so quick to investigate what is going on. You must grieve and move past this, you are young, believe me when I tell you, there are others who have lost mates who have again found a mate who completed them like your Jasper did you. With your gift you will in time find that as well. Remember the life you saved Jasper from and even though his time with you was cut short you know he was happy. You showed him another way of being that saved him. You didn't kill him by sending him after Edward, you saved him many years before when you rescued him from the pain of feeding from human blood when you showed him he could survive off animals."

Then she motioned to her family and they all left Alice and I sitting there in their living room alone.

I looked at Alice, she was a mess, I looked down at me and here I was the one wearing designer clothes, when I looked back at Alice she was glaring at me. She then moved over close to me and hugged me.

"I will never forgive Edward. I saw you as one of us for so long, But Edward thought changing you would be wrong, I wanted to dress you like this for so long, and here look at you all it took was changing you, and I would have had everything I ever wanted! My Best friend dressing in clothes as beautiful as her!"

I hugged her back, holding her. "I am so sorry for what you have lost Alice, I never even got to really get to know Jasper because he could not be around me safely that much, but you can tell me all about him, when you feel up to talking about him. I would like to know all about the brother I never had a chance to get close to. But I have to burst your bubble, I only stole these clothes because it was a store going out of business and it was the only thing available..."

Alice Stopped sobbing and pushed me back gently. "You lie, I saw a vision of you, You picked out things you knew I would like to see you in, you can't lie to me Bella! Now let's get a ride to the airport, Carlisle, Esme, Rose and Emmett are waiting for us in Scotland at our home there. We need to have a memorial service for Edward and Jasper. And you and I need some time together Alone, to grieve for our lost loves. There is a cottage on our land there we can use it is isolated, and Edward and Jasper both used it a lot to get away when the thoughts of others or emotions got to be too much, so with our sense of smell we will be able to smell their scents there still. How does that sound?"

"So you really don't blame me? I can't help feeling like it is my fault, in spite of what Carmen said"

Alice looked at me, "I feel like it is my fault too. I suppose that is what they call survivors guilt. Funny I got that masters degree in psychology to understand emotion better to understand Jasper better, and now I am remembering things that I am now suffering from." She got to her feet and held out her hand to me "Together?" She said as I took her hand. "Together." I replied and we walked out to the driveway where Carmen was waiting in her car to give us a ride to the airport.

I was feeling crushed under all this emotion. Sorrow, anger, regret, so much pain. But I had Alice back, I wished I could celebrate that but it was bittersweet.

We had a long flight back to scotland in silence. Once we touched down we both spoke at once saying each others name. Then Alice gestured I should go first. "You sure you aren't mad at me? You didn't speak the whole way back? Will the others be mad at me?" I asked.

Alice laughed, a sad laugh. "I was waiting for you to say something first!"

"Me too" I replied with the same sad laugh.

"So let's agree to just speak around each other and not worry about it, and also the others are going to be happy to see you, just not under the circumstances."

Next Chapter. Reunion and Memorial.


	3. Chapter 3

A/N: Just a heads up, I am making Carlisle of Scottish descent, I know england etc, blah blah blah. But I wanted to make this Scottish trip a homecoming them pulling back to his first home, a place he really considers home, and somewhere they all have history. Now I could have made this England, yeah sure. But I am fascinated by Scotland, and this just came out of my head, so here you go, sorry if this story is going a little too alternate universe for you. Take care and I hope you enjoy. Also Are the disclaimers required? If so I have been forgetting the crap out of them. I don't own the characters blah blah blah. Buy the book and give it as a gift, support the writing of authors like Stephenie who gave us all this fun universe to play in.

We touched down in Scotland and I turned to Alice. "So, Alice I was wondering... Do you speak Scottish?" She began to correct me then she looked up and saw my smile and laughed. Not her normal happy bright laugh that made you feel like the sun was shining just for you, but it was at least something.

I was not arrogant enough to think I had cornered the market on guilt over what happened, and how this worked out, and I missed Alice, this whole flight I agonized over if things were ever going to be happy again. I realized that I was not suffering like Alice was. Carmen's comment about mates, made me realize that. I had lost Edward, but I lost him as a human, and those feelings were nothing compared to the strength of emotion Vampires felt, and the mating instinct in Vampires was the most powerful feelings and emotions they, well now we felt. So I pushed aside my grief to concentrate on my friend.

The door to the airplane opened, and Alice took my hand. "Come on Bella, they left a car for us in long term parking. Instead a scene in the airport Carlisle thought it would be best if we all met up at the estate where we can be open about everything."

I understood the sense in that we would draw way too much attention with the crying and sobbing that I knew at least I was going to be doing when I saw everyone. I thought of Emmett, and how his face was going to be the one that would probably make me saddest. I do not remember a time when I ever saw him without a smile, and a quick smart ass remark.

I just let Alice pull me along to the car. I was lost in my own thoughts. Alice however kept a steady narrative going. "This home has been in Carlisle's family since he was a human. Although he bought it from his relatives them not knowing they were related after world war two. He even has his own family color and pattern of plaid." Alice smiled at me when she told me that. I looked at her inquisitively and she continued. "He has a kilt Bella, imagine Carlisle in a skirt? But of course as handsome as he is he makes it look good. Emmett made fun of him for wearing a skirt once, and Carlisle made all the boys wear one..." She trailed off remembering Jasper obviously. I felt bad now for not just listening in. I was about to say something but Alice cut me off seeing what I was going to say before I said it. "No Bella, It hurts so much to remember, but I need to remember him, I need to remember so that once I am over the sadness of the loss, and have moved past this mis placed guilt that I will be able to remember him."

The car ride was mostly quiet. Alice pointed out the sights as we drove at her usual crazy speed, of course now I was not that bothered by it for some reason, with my new reflexes and senses I could see why it was no problem for her to drive like this. When we turned off onto a private road, Alice jumping out to open an impossibly heavy gate without any effort, then she pulled the car in and closed the gate. We followed the road for a few more minutes when we came over a hill and into a valley with a house, well it looked like a castle, but not a really old style one but the newer kind, with narrow windows and a wall surrounding it. I really can't describe it but it was huge, I would have guessed it had 50 rooms by looking at it. I found out later it had 45 rooms the dining hall and ballroom took up some space after all...

As soon as we pulled up, the rest of the Cullens came out, they were all smiling glad to see us, but the smiles did not reach their eyes. When I got out and came around the car, Rosalie and Esme came over to me and Alice and pulled us into a group hug. Carlisle and Emmett walked over too, and encircled us girls and joined in. We stood like that for several minutes, when we broke apart.

Esme spoke first "Bella, we are so sorry for your loss, and what you have gone through, of course you know we consider you a part of the family, and if you will forgive us for leaving you and allowing Victoria an opening to come and hurt you we would love it if you would stay with us?"

I was a little taken aback, I had not even considered they would blame themselves for this, and what I was going to do but in an instant I knew I wanted to stay with them. "Yes Esme, I would really like that. And I would like to say that Alice and I have already taken all of the blame for everything that has happened, so don't you guys all start too OK? I would like to request we have whatever memorial service we are going to have and then forgive and forget. I was so hurt when you guys all left, you have no idea how much my heart was torn into a million pieces. Then Victoria came and I, well you know I guess without me reliving it. But Alice explained to me how this was Edwards decision and why you all argued against it, but in the end, gave in because that is what a family does, it supports each other, even when they are being dumb. And his argument while it didn't work out that way, it might have, maybe being human would have worked out for me once I was over losing what I thought was the love of my life. But we will never know that. So I will say I love you all, and there is nothing to forgive in my book, it was just a really shitty thing that happened, and we can all grieve together over the two people we all loved who we have lost."

Carlisle stepped up to me and said "Bella, being changed has obviously not taken away your kindness and loving nature. I will be happy to call you one of my daughters, and I speak for everyone when I say we are glad you will stay. And I promise we will never abandon you again. Now I have a video player set up inside Jasper and Edward have recorded some final good byes as we all have over the years. I thought we could watch them then take turns remembering our time with them, and try to focus on being grateful for the time we had with them instead of future time with them that is now denied us."

We gathered around the screen and watched as Edward and Jasper spoke about how grateful they were to have been a part of this family, and hoped that they went quickly and each said if we were watching this that they hoped they were the only ones lost. Most of Jaspers comments were directed at Alice begging her to go on, and while he knew she would never forget him that he hoped she would again open her heart to finding love because she made him feel so loved that he wished that someone else could share that joy and in turn she would be loved since he was not here any longer to show his love for her. Of course she sobbed so hard she cried venom tears, I held her, her head resting on my shoulder.

Carlisle stood up and started. "Edward was of course my first progeny, I changed him, for mainly selfish reasons, and was like a son to me, I raised him and taught him what it meant to be a man, and he made me proud. He was not perfect though, he was stubborn, and pedantic, but he was a good person at heart choosing in the end what he thought was the right thing to do. Jasper, what do I say about Jasper? Jasper was a person who I would not judge by how hard it was for him to refrain from drinking human blood, but that he chose to fight the thirst. I admired Jasper, he was very kind and compassionate, and never, ever refused anyone help. We benefited greatly having Jasper in our lives, and his death is such a tragedy.

Then Esme, Rose and Emmett gave their thoughts. Rosalie started to say something about this All being Edwards fault, and was cut off by Esme, then She just finished by saying the whole rest of her life was going to be easier because of the help Jasper gave her working through her anger issues.

Alice went next. She said that she would miss Edward, and their silent conversations, it gave them a bond she knows she will never have with anyone else, she really felt like he was her real brother, she didn't love him more than Emmett or Rose, but he felt like he was really her brother. But when she tried to speak about Jasper, no words came out. Just his name. She just kept looking around at us wringing her hands, saying "Jasper, Jasper," then finally "What am I going to do? I don't have him any more, he was everything to me!" And she broke down sobbing Esme and Rosalie moved in to hold her while she cried.

Finally it was my turn. Listening to everyone's thoughts I realized something so I started there. "I lost Edward when he left me in that forest, Rosalie started to say it, but it is true, this is all his fault, decisions he made, but for the right reasons, I suppose, except for the idea to go to Italy, he was so stubborn, so so very stubborn. But I can't hate him for what he did, I can't even find anger in my heart, there is nobody to blame for what we have lost. My heart is heavy, and listening to you all describe what you loved best, and how many years you have all been a family, I am humbled, being so young, so new, and made to feel so welcome. I hope in time to know you all so well, and to have you all know me. Jasper, I feel most cheated by not being able to have known him. Rosalie, you and I have not really had a chance to spend much time together, but we now HAVE time, something I don't have for Jasper, and I am so sorry about that. Alice mentioned a cottage a ways from here Carlisle where the two of them spent a lot of time. I have asked Alice to take me there so we can smell them, and she can tell me all about the brother I never got to know. If that is alright with you all?

Everyone agreed. I reached out and took Alice's hand and pulled her to me. And we cried together for another few hours with the whole family sobbing right there with us. Finally I paused to breath and said to Alice, "well without Jasper to help with emotions we are going to have to try to be strong on our own, will you show me that cottage now? I would like you to tell me about Jasper. "

Alice dried her eyes and took several calming breaths. "Alright Bella, let's go." She pulled away from me and hugged each of her family members individually then took off running yelling behind her "Race Ya!"

I thought as I took off after her, how it was not a fair race since I did not know where the finish line was, but I was hot on her heels the whole time. After we had run a few miles we came upon another little valley with a cottage it was very story book. Alice opened the door and walked in and inhaled a deep breath through her nose. "Good I can still smell him"

We sat for days while Alice told me all about Jasper, how kind, and self sacrificing he was and things he had done for her, and how he had helped her learn about her past after James made that video about her past, but the more she talked about Jasper the more I realized he was like me. We would have been great friends. We went hunting a couple of times, and slowly as the days past more and more of Alice came back. She was still missing Jasper, but I could see it was her in there more. She was spending more time with her outfit and make up each new day. And began talking about the shops in London every once in a while, and in between memories of Jasper would talk about the future, and how I needed a new wardrobe, and soon we were laughing together and after one hunting trip when she had let me have the larger of the two stags we had found. I gave her a hug and went to give her a kiss on the cheek when at the same time she turned her head and it accidentally became a kiss on the lips.

I felt a spark! No not like a static electricity spark, but a wow, I wouldn't mind that happening again kind of spark. I looked at her wide eyed and saw her looking back at me wide eyed.

"NO!" She said but she didn't break the hug. "Not you Bella, you are my friend, I never thought of you that way...

I said "Me neither, you are Alice, Edward's sister, not..." I paused trying to get my scrambled brain to work again. "But that felt nice right? I mean I am not sorry I kissed you, you know I love you right Allie?" I didn't know where I got the idea to give Alice a nickname all of a sudden but something has changed, and I don't know what.

"No, Bella, I mean yes, that felt nice, but I have only felt that feeling with one other person, I don't understand how could we, I mean,"

At least I took comfort in the fact that Alice seemed to be as tongue tied as I was over our kiss. But I decided that right now, I was never going to ever let someone else dictate what I was and was not going to have. Edward left me because he decided for me without even taking my feelings into account that I was better off without him. So I leaned forward and said to Alice "Alice I am going to kiss you now, I know you just lost a mate, and it is too soon really but I want to know says who? Edward decided for me what was right and wrong, and I am never letting anyone decide that for me again. So pucker up and give me a kiss. If we both feel what we just did when we kissed accidentally, then we can talk about what it means, and I am not going anywhere, we can take it slow, I will give you as much time as you need." I leaned in and taking her face gently in my hands I kissed her. I was in some kind of shock, I was kissing a girl, I had never done that before, and had never had a kiss as a vampire, kissing Alice felt, a lot different than kissing Edward when I was human.

We broke apart after only a few seconds, but I looked into Alice's eyes to gauge her reaction and she was smiling at me, a smile that was all the way in her eyes. "Bella, do you know why I turned my head the first time when we accidentally kissed?" Alice asked me but not pausing for an answer "I caught a strong whiff of Jaspers scent and followed it with my nose turning my head, into you. Is it crazy to think?"

I laughed. "Well the timing sure was perfect, but the timing is sure bad I don't understand but I do know I love you Alice, you are my best friend, and I don't want us to be a rebound relationship for each other hurting our friendship."

Alice looked off into nothing as she did when she was getting a vision, and she smiled, and while she was getting her vision her smile kept growing and she snapped out of it and looked at me. "Well, unless we are going to be the kind of friends who take bubble bath's together and kiss each other all the time, then my vision is telling me I have just found a new mate, and it also showed me you are going to make Esme very angry in a few days time."

I was still thinking about the bubble bath, picturing That in my head when I heard the part about Esme. "What am I going to do? Does she not approve of, well you know US?" I asked worried, considering Esme was born a while ago, and gay rights were not even an idea, people who were gay lived in secret.

"No Bella, but unfortunately Emmett is going to have a hard time controlling his wisecracks around you about how we both switched teams, and every-time we hold hands or kiss he is going to make some crack about "That's hot" or "Whoo Hoo hot girl on girl action" You love Emmett and his sense of humor, but one time you wait a little too long to hunt and are cranky and Emmett gets to see the newborn rage that you have apparently had little trouble controlling up to this point. And you are going to do structural damage to one wall when you throw Emmett through it." But don't worry Bella, I will be right there when you lose it and will remind you to aim for a window, Esme won't be mad at you then, she will blame Emmett, and he will have to fix it!"

We laughed together at that idea, then decided that we would just agree on how we felt, and being honest was the best thing. We would go over at sunset and talk to the rest of the family and do our coming out. Hopefully this would help everyone to heal, they would not have 2 widows around reminding them of our loss, but a happy couple?

Next Chapter: Coming Out, and Emmett learns the lyrics to "I Believe I can Fly"

A/N: Well, I made myself sad writing this chapter, so I had to turn it around. I had Bella and Alice couple up pretty quickly, hope that wasn't too quick for you all. Instead of a slow process, I was just too bummed out by the memorial service and Alice crying...

Review? Please, You know I write faster when I get reviews, even if you just tell me "MOAR!"


	4. Chapter 4

Alice and I had spent the last several hours talking about how we felt, and how we had not even realized how we had been falling in love the whole time we knew each other. Of course we were both in love with other people so these feelings were dormant, and we would have just been friends had the tragedy of Edward's suicide not claimed Jasper as well.

However with us both single, there was nothing stopping how we felt from growing from a platonic love to our romantic feelings for each other. I was not sure about the physical part of the relationship because this was all new to me, but when I kissed Alice it set off fireworks like Edward never did. Of course now I am a vampire, maybe it's that, maybe it's that I just have been more into girls this whole time, and did not either want to admit it, or was oblivious about that part of my personality. But as I confessed to Alice, I really was interested in being with her. She assured me that she knew how she felt was a mate response, and not just a passing fancy, and mating in vampires was not a one way thing. One Vampire could not fall in love with another if the feelings on the other side were not as strong. For some reason it was only mutual attraction that set off the mating response.

I was re assured by that, then we discussed how we were going to tell the others. Alice told me that in this family open and honest is the rule. We always support each other, so she was confident they would adjust to the newness of Alice's and my status as mates even if the timing was lousy, and it could be argued by anyone other than Alice that these feelings are just a passing fancy we have just run into each others arms to escape the pain. But as long as I was sure, and Alice was sure, we decided to just go sit everyone down and tell them straight out that Alice and I were now mates, and take it from there.

So after the sun set we hunted on the way back to the house, and walked into the living room and everyone came in and sat down. "We have something we would like to tell you all." Alice started

"What is it dear heart?" Esme replied

Alice looked at me and smiled. I gazed back into her golden eyes and smiled. "We are now mated" we said in unison. Then we kissed. Faster than we could follow Esme ran to us and embraced us. "Oh, my dears, I am so happy you have both found love so soon after a horrible tragedy. This is wonderful news! We are all so happy for you."

Carlisle and Rosalie came over next and hugged us individually offering their congratulations, then Emmett came over and swept us both into a huge hug and said loudly "You two make such a hot couple, please feel free to make out anywhere any time!"

Alice's eyes went wide and when Rosalie distracted Emmett by smacking him in the head I pounced. Dropping him to the stone floor. "Now Em, because I love you I am going to warn you. Alice had a vision about your teasing, you had better be careful, one of these times you are going to mouth off at the wrong time, better get your tool belt ready because you are going to have to replace a window after I send you flying through it. He laughed "HA! You are not much bigger than your little pipsqueek mate! I am not worried!"

I saw red, I knew in part of my mind he was kidding, but that part of my mind was not in control of my muscles. It was the I am going to kill you for calling my mate names part that was calling the shots. I jumped up and with all of my strength started to pick him up and throw him at the fireplace in the middle of the wall when Alice shouted "WINDOW BABY!" and I turned enough at the last second to send him through the window instead. We could hear Emmett after he hit a tree outside and landed on his Jeep "Stupid newborn strength, how could I forget that?" Then he called out "Sorry Esme, I'll get my tools and fix that., Oh and sorry Bella, Alice. I was just playing. Very happy for you both!"

Esme was chuckling, and Carlisle after asking me if I was alright told me we would need to work on my temper because every time I did something like that it would be harder to resist next time. Rosalie seconded that and told me thank you for that, sometimes Emmett forgets that size and having breasts does not make someone weak.

I Alice and I laughed at that. I turned to Carlisle. Two things. Number one. I am not going to high school, I will be home schooled, if anyone asks. Second item, Alice tells me you have a kilt? I thought the men in braveheart looked so rugged, can you put it on for me?

Carlisle Laughed. "Yes of course Bella, I also have some of our family tartan, if you would like I am sure Esme would make you one of your own? Alice has one in storage here too."

I looked at Alice with and evil grin. "OK Allie, you are so going to wear that for me!" I was thinking all sorts of dirty thoughts. You know the age old question?

Q: What does a Scotsman wear under his kilt?

A: What he was born wearing

Alice got a vision and covered her mouth. "Oh-my-goodness-Bella!" I didn't even bother to ask her what she saw, and neither did Carlisle and Esme who witnessed our exchange. I guess it was pretty obvious.

We giggled. And Alice said. "Carlisle before we get lost in our plans for wearing kilts, can you give Bella the tour? I am sure she would like to know about your family history."

I nodded. "Yes, please. Since I am a part of your family now that makes it my history too I think."

Esme and Alice took one of my hands each and we walked following after Carlisle while he took us through the home, and explaining what had changed from when he would visit here as a boy. While he didn't live here as a boy his father was an Anglican minister because the lands and title fell to his uncle Angus, who was the oldest of 3 brothers. His father's parish was only a couple of days journey by coach, and they would visit every couple of years for special family gatherings, weddings and the like. When the feudal system collapsed, his family ran out of money to support such a large estate and after a hard winter wiped out their heard of sheep the family soon went bankrupt and Carlisle was able to buy the estate lock stock and Barrel from the Bank. He tried to give it back to his relatives, to tend, but their pride would not let them take charity and Carlisle could not tell them who he really was, so he ended up with the estate, filled with his family treasures and portraits. He showed me one of his father, and brothers painted when they were young men, and it was like Carlisle was staring back out at me from the painting. Carlisle favored his father very much.

Carlisle then took us on a tour of the grounds and it was very interesting listening to how he would play with his cousins, and the passages through the house, that the servants would use so they could come and go without disrupting the family. It was a very different time.

It was fascinating how this house was older than the country I was from. To realize something so historic existed, and the scope of time. I wondered what treasures I would collect over time, and realized that I already had all I needed as I pulled her hand and drew her closer to me Wrapping my arms around her and kissing her.

Next chapter: A distressing Visit.


	5. Chapter 5

Over the past several months Everyone has started to return to normal coping with the loss of 2 family members has been difficult.

Alice and my relationship has grown a lot easier. A lot of our guilt was eased by the conversation we had about Edward and Jasper wanting us to be happy, I did not think either of them would have wanted us to follow them into death, well maybe Edward, but I was NOT going to be Romeo to his Juliet, or whatever.

I have been getting a little bored with the diet. Red Deer, although plentiful, are a little too much of the same. I tried mountain hare, and Red Foxes, too fun chase but a lot of work for a little blood, plus I kinda feel like a bully picking on something so small. Yeah, I know what you are thinking no animal is any kind of challenge what with my new vampire strength, but small animals just are so cute, and afraid it makes me feel bad. I even don't use my power to catch them just to be fair.

Oh, yeah my power. After the first week strange things started to happen like we had a poltergeist or something, so Carlisle asked his Friend Elizar to come for a visit. He has a gift for reading other vampire's powers. He came here and informed me I was a shield from mental powers, and I could also if I concentrated manifest my shield as a physical one and with practice could probably use it like telekinesis. He stayed with us for a couple of weeks and taught me how to control my power. He told me that if I worked with my power my control would improve, and get stronger, how much stronger he did not know, since he was limited by the mental aspect of my shield, and until I learned to hold that back dropping it he could tell me little else.

I had one close call as far as drinking human blood. Alice dragged me to London for a shopping trip, and although I fed before we left, we went into one tiny little jewelery shop and there was a jeweler making a pendant, when she cut her finger on a piece of sliver wire. In the confines of the shop the blood scent was overpowering. I growled my eyes went black and I would have pounced if Alice had not pulled me back fortunately unknown to me Emmett was tailing us with Rosalie and between the three of them they got me out of the shop mainly because I didn't fight them. Alice told the shopkeeper I was having an epileptic seizure and would be fine after I got some air. We all agreed that maybe on line shopping would be a good idea for a while longer for me. Then Alice went back to the shop and bought the pendant a gift for me she said because I could have fought them off and gotten the blood, but I let them take me, that I held onto some little bit of control. She said she was proud of me. And kissed me earning a wisecrack from Emmett. I just rolled my eyes and told him I was sorry about his Jeep. He asked "What do you mean sorry about my jeep?" I told him I had a vision of myself smashing it to scrap when when we got back to the estate. He started to say that I didn't get visions that was Alice's gift when he finally got that I was going to smash his beloved Jeep if he didn't shut his yap and be more respectful of the volatile newborn.

I think everyone enjoyed my and Emmett's back and forth wisecracks and threats. It was nice having a big brother. We played like this a lot, but when I needed him he was there for me, like when I needed to be pulled out of a shop to stop from killing someone, when I did not have enough strength to do it on my own yet. I loved them all so much.

Alice was having trouble with her visions she knew someone was coming but did not know who, they were doing the not making any firm decisions thing that caused her visions to be spotty. So Carlisle decided that the best thing to do would be wait and see. When one day a couple of cars pulled up the driveway and a bunch of Vampires in black cloaks got out and walked up to the front door. Everyone hissed "The Volturi! How dare they show themselves here after what they took from us!"

Carlisle urged everyone to calm down as we all walked to the front door to see what they wanted. There was a little blond girl with bright red eyes out front who dropped her hood and she spoke.

"Hello Cullen Coven, Carlisle Aro sends his regards and regrets. By now I am sure you have learned of the destruction of two of your coven members?" She said it without a trace of remorse, as if he was putting down a rabid animal not someone who was loved, and cherished member of someone's family.

I know I was supposed to remain calm, and I wanted to do as Carlisle asked, but well you know how it is... "They had Names!" I roared stepping out in front of my family. Trying to keep my rage under control shaking Alice's hand off, I think the first time I ever pulled away from her touch but not because I was angry at her. I glanced back to see her having a vision, looking into the future.

I felt a tingling sensation as the little blond girl made a weird expression. Then looked angry. OHHHH I thought, this must be Jane, Alice warned me about her, how she was very feared in the vampire world because she had the ability to cause pain as bad or worse than the change. Well that explained the tingle, my shield protected me... Good to know... "Yeah, that isn't going to work on me bitch, nice just using your power to attack me when I was just talking. You expect us to take your arrival here good after what your coven took from us? I suggest you back the fuck off or you are going to find out what power is if you make me angry."

The tingling on my shield stopped, of course I was only half bluffing, I could shield my family both physically and mentally but we would then be stuck in a stalemate. Best to get these ass-clowns to leave so we could go on about our business. So I decided to just shut up and let Carlisle handle it, so I stepped back and looked at him sheepishly silently apologizing for threatening our visitors, in spite of who they were I knew Carlisle believed in being hospitable, and polite, and I had just instead taken this in an ugly direction challenging them to a fight.

"Hello, Jane, yes to answer your question we were aware of Edward and Jaspers destruction. Edward came to you because he wished to end his life mistakenly believing that Bella here had been killed. As you can see she was not, and Jasper was sent after him to prevent him from going through with his suicide. While I understand why the guard did what they did, I wish our friendship meant enough to Aro for him to at least return my calls when I tried to reach him to speak to him about the situation."

"That is why we are here. We thought you had sent two powerful vampires against us, as a distraction, or some type of precursor to a full blown attack. So we have been sent to discover the truth, if what you have said is the truth, and if this is the case to apologize for our hasty actions, and if not to punish your coven for the offense given."

Listening to her arrogant explanation I was about to step forward again too angry to stop myself when Alice grabbed me and motioned for Rosalie who took my other arm while Alice whispered into my ear so only I could hear. "Concentrate Bella, shield the family. Keep us safe, let Carlisle handle the talking. I had a vision, this will work out if you can remain calm baby please!"

So I did as Alice asked, and forced myself to be calm, remembering how it felt when I was a human and Jasper would calm me and imagining that feeling. Then I concentrated on my shield and enveloped my whole family in first my mental shield then felt my physical shield expand to surround them all individually. I concentrated on them and what they felt like to my shield and I protected them.

Carlisle, Wow, I never thought I would see him lose his calm. "HOW DARE YOU! YOU ARE NO LONGER WELCOME IN MY PRESENCE, YOU ARE OFFENDING ME AND MY FAMILY YOU ARE TRESPASSING NOW LEAVE. IF ARO WANTS TO SPEAK TO ME, HE KNOWS HOW TO USE A TELEPHONE. BUT I WON'T HAVE YOU ACUSE AND THREATEN MY FAMILY OVER CHARGES YOU KNOW ARE LIES!"

The guard all took an involuntary step back under Carlisle's rage. They looked frightened, Jane tried attacking my family again this one aimed at Carlisle directly not knowing of course that I could shield the whole family until now. "Carlisle, she is trying her power on you, I said timidly afraid of him a little myself he looked so angry."

He turned to me, "Thank you Bella." then back to the guard. "I AM WAITING YOU HAVE NOT LEFT YET, I KNOW YOU CAN MOVE FASTER THAN THAT!" I saw a couple of the guard immediately getting in their cars and tearing out of the parking lot. A few resisted but then got into their cars and departed.

I think everyone breathed a sigh of relief, but not understanding their reactions and how quickly they gave up.

Carlisle motioned for us to go back inside. "I owe you all an explanation. I have a gift as well. I have never felt the need to use it before today, and I regret the necessity of using it. I am able to project fear. Which is what I did. And part of why they left. No one is aware I have this power except Elizar, and now you all. Aro did not even know, since I had not met Elizar until after I had left Italy to come to the United States."

I spoke up "I felt it too, I was a little afraid of you, but my shield should have protected me right?"

He appeared thoughtful for a moment, "well since you were shielding us, perhaps me being under, or within your shield you gave a little opening for some of my power to reach you. I suggest we work on that, if we get a return visit I would not want to impair your gift by using my power and breaking your concentration with terror."

Everyone looked at me and I nodded.

Alice looked at Carlisle "I had a vision that I did not understand I saw them leaving after you yelled at them, I did not know why your yelling would deter them. But now it makes sense"

"I didn't know you had it in you Carlisle, I have never seen you lose your temper like that! But thank you for making them leave!" Emmett said.

"So anyone else hiding powers?" I asked smiling. Everyone laughed followed by a game of calling out silly powers nobody had. Rosalie claimed to have the power to be hostile towards human girls named Isabella, she said using my full name I hated and sticking out her tongue. Emmett had the power to irritate sleeping grizzly bears into making them more fun to eat. Esme then confessed to having the power to roll her eyes at our ceaseless antics. We all just sat there laughing and enjoying each others silly jokes. Carlisle got to his feet and went off to use the phone. He did not think the Volturi were finished being a nuisance, so he decided to warn some other friends that there was something going on. We could hear and there were several covens that were going to be coming here in person. Feeling the increasing problem of the heavy handed tactics of the Volturi needed to be dealt with. Apparently we were going to be hosting a summit of sorts here. Since some of our expected guests were not on the same diet, Carlisle using his connections ordered a supply of donated human blood so we could maintain our cover here.

Next Chapter: Vampire summit for independence. And Bella slips.


	6. Chapter 6

Slowly but steadily our guests began to arrive. Some were old friends, and it was nice to see everyone reacquaint and catch up. Of course our interaction with the guard was a frequent topic of discussion and my part in sending them on their way made me quite the celebrity. I could have easily done without that.

But as I said "SOME" were old friends. Some were just people who heard the buzz and came to see what was going on, and some were extra nightmare inducing. I am glad I no longer sleep, because there were two who sent chills up my spine. They were the "Romanians" They were the rulers of our world before Aro, et al overthrew them. They were here to stir the pot and incite a revolution. They had no care for anything but destroying the Volturi, specifically Aro, Caius, and Marcus.

None of my family were looking to overthrow anything, we just wanted to warn others of what was going on, and Carlisle thought in person was the best way instead of a shady phone call in the middle of the night with a vague warning of "something going on". That is what we were going to do, except Alice said all our futures disappeared when we decided to do that, and as soon as we decided to invite instead she saw visions of us all in the future doing things.

It is difficult to guess, but maybe if we had just called around, Aro would have come straight for us? We now had over 50 vampires here at Carlisle's, well now I have to stop doing that. I keep getting corrected by Esme, or Carlisle when I talk about this like it is their home, and not mine too. Although, I had no part obviously in setting up this house, or paying any bills, as they tell me time and again, "This house is more of a home because I am in it, so that makes it my home too." Well, I love them all so much I am going to have to learn to accept their unconditional love and support. I am still healing I guess, although I think I am past it, I am still grieving my lost life, my choice made for me.

I had an accident today. No not a car crash. But I fed on human blood. I took a wrong turn in the hallway and walked past the kitchen where we have the donated human blood stored. One of our guests had just opened a bag and was warming it to drink it and I killed that cold, and tore the refrigerator door off, and made a spectacular mess, the walls, the floor, the ceiling, Alice made it just in time to watch me covered in blood realize what had just happened... I felt so bad, I was doing so well, now it is red eyes again. Alice held me while I sat filled with guilt and a sense of failure. The whole family, and extended family tried to cheer me up, telling me it was to be expected etc... Yeah, expected.

Once they moved from trying to cheer me up to telling me about their slip ups mistakes they had made, that was when I started to feel better. Hearing the stories of their past mistakes, and how they felt when they slipped, they knew what I felt, they really did. Here I am feeling sorry for myself, and it was only donated blood that I have drank, they actually killed someone when they slipped, except for Esme, she did something similar to what I did. She was working in a hospital as a nurse, alongside Carlisle. She had to go to the blood-bank in the hospital's basement, and a bag slipped off the cart when she was pushing it towards the door, it caught on a screw on the side of the cart and tore. Esme's vampire reflexes were fast enough to catch the bag before it hit the floor, but the blood in the air in a confined space and she lost it. But Carlisle was there before she did any damage like I did. Still it was funny to picture in a way. When I let out a half chuckle at the mental picture everyone else laughed, then I laughed and pretty soon I did feel better, not happy about what happened but knowing I am not perfect, but at least trying makes me a better person.

Esme was quick to have her revenge though. "Emmett, since you think my little slip is funnier than any of yours, how about you show Bella, how to repair all the damage once you, and Alice clean up the blood?"

Emmett laughed at that even as he got up to help. I offered to help, but Alice looked and saw me losing it again and since we did not have an infinite supply of blood for our guests...

Carlisle came in and announced that we were all going to have an informal meeting tonight and if I would be so kind as to spread the word. SO I went the other direction from the kitchen and found every one of our guests and told them we would like to all talk tonight, and what time, and where. Going down my mental list I had found everyone except the Romanians when they found me, and told me they had heard and would be there.

So with a shudder I headed inside to find Carlisle and tell him that everyone had been informed.

Next Chapter: The meeting, chaos, order and a bit of fun.


	7. Chapter 7

We all gathered around in the ballroom, I looked around, and was so shocked. How could humanity be oblivious to the existence of Vampires? Look at all of us? And this is but one gathering, not every vampire in existence is here, there are many who are just too off the grid, nomads who avoid all contact with others of their kind, and the Volturi coven of course. These people here represented the older (well for the most part, me not counting) who had forged relationships. We even got a last minute visitor. Several of the southern covens came. Leaving the territories they had fought over for so many years.

We found out this was the doing of Maria, the vampire who made Jasper. When she arrived with the southern covens, they announced they were at truce, and Maria asked to speak with Alice. Maria gave her condolences on her loss, and told Alice how hurt she was when Jasper left her, but she had known for some time Jasper would leave, that he was unhappy, and she regrets not doing anything to ever help him.

She was surprised to find out Alice had a new mate, it was rather soon, but when she found out the circumstances she was more understanding. To any outsider it looked like we had both lost our mates in the same event, and turned to each other for comfort only but it wasn't like that.

Carlisle stepped out in the middle of the ballroom, and spoke. "Thank you all for coming. It is very nice to see old friends again, and to meet so many new friends. I know many of you have heard the rumors and some have been told by various family members what happened, so to avoid any confusion we brought everyone here to discuss what happened, and how we as a race go forward. I know this gathering as large as it is will not escape the notice of the Volturi, but my calls to Aro go unanswered, I still consider him a friend, and would like to resolve the tension between us. I think most here would agree that we all benefit by having the Volturi enforcing the rules, as our continued existence it made easier by most of humanity being blissfully unaware of our existence. So I would like to turn the floor over to other coven leaders to voice their concerns and ideas. Any helpful ideas would be appreciated."

He turned to the coven leaders on his right, wouldn't you know Count Dracula one and two. Creeptacular is how Emmett describes them.

Vladimir and Stefan Stepped forward. They had this odd way of speaking, they would alternate speaking one of them finishing the sentences of the other, but they did not cut each other off, rather it was like they were reading from a script. They voiced their opinion that the Volturi had to be eliminated. There were several rolled eyes at this announcement, since everyone knew that is their whole reason for existing. One of the southern vampires stepped forward.

Yes, all very well and good. I also have good reason for hating the Volturi, I lost many I counted as friends when the Volturi came and decimated the southern covens. All because their belief that we represented a threat to the masquerade. However, my hatred aside, what would you see replace them? There are none in this room who believe we do not need some form of governance, which is why the Volturi have been unchallenged for so long. And none of us want the bother of doing it.

We spent the next two days and nights discussing what our alternatives were from Vladimir, and Stefan's declariation that they would resume leadership, (which we all knew would result in humanity finding out about all of us immediately) to other suggestions from anarchy and the various regions electing a council. Until it was finally decided that a small delegation would travel to Voltura and speak to Aro, Marcus, and Caius in person. So that something could be worked out.

Carlisle would travel with Elizar, Maria, Alice, Myself, and 5 of the nomads. We decided to leave right away. Carlisle called and informed the Volturi that we were coming to talk, and requested an audience with Aro, Marcus, and Caius, and as many of the guard as they wanted there. He assured the person he spoke to that this was not an attack and he just wanted to talk, and re-establish the status quo.

When we arrived in Voltura it was a little after midnight. As we approached the castle, a large contingent of the guard came out to meet us. Jane spoke. "Aro does not wish to see you all. You should just leave"

Carlisle shook his head. "No, a long time ago Aro promised me a favor. I am now calling that favor in. Simply put, I want an audience."

A vampire in the back spoke "Come on Jane, maybe it's true, maybe they can help?"

Jane spun around "Shut up you fool!" and the vampire who spoke out of turn fell to the ground writhing and screaming as Jane used her gift. I extended my shield to stop it, and shield that vampire. Jane then spun and looked at me. "Fine! You all want to stick your nose in, come see what your Jasper did!"

We followed Jane, and were flanked by the rest of the guard. Because of the close quarters in the long hallway, I was not able to fully shield my family, and hoped the guard would not chose now to attack. Jane swung the throne-room doors open and we all gasped. Sitting in their thrones whithered, and looking catatonic, were Aro, Marcus, and Caius. There were also several other guard members sitting in various places around the throne room similarly affected.

Carlisle turned to Jane "What happened? Exactly?"

Jane looked stricken, "Well from the video, when Jasper was executed along side Edward Jasper let out a wail that was the saddest sound I ever heard, and everyone just kind of collapsed as the burned. We are guessing that Jasper let out a wave of sadness that has crippled everyone who was in the room. Others in the castle at the time also felt it, but because of the range, or whatever we able to recover, but we have not been able to rouse anyone in this room, they have all not fed for weeks, we have brought them humans and opened arteries right in front of their mouths and pressed them to their mouths but nothing, just nothing."

Alice looked very sad next to me but got a vision. She got a sad half smile, then spoke. "I can help them. But because they took my mate it comes at a price."

Jane looked at her. "Anything, they cannot last much longer, if they will not eat they will wither to the point where they might not recover, trapped forever in an undying whithered state, I cannot imagine there is anything Aro would not grant to be freed from his prison."

Alice walked to the thrones "Aro, what happened is you felt Jaspers anguish over leaving me, not only his sadness at losing me, but how he felt, how he knew I would feel, this was not an attack, this was just him losing control of his gift, and expressing his emotion. But I can tell you this, I forgive you. I have found love a second time against all odds. I have a new mate, Bella Swan Cullen. I was close to her when she was human, and now as a vampire we both lost someone close to us in this event. She was in love with Edward, it is because of her that Edward came here. In the first place. I sent Jasper to stop him, but he was not in time and you destroyed him also thinking this was an attack on you. Well it wasn't. So you need to feed, and my price for forgiving you, and sharing my news about how I have found love again, so that you can find some joy in this tragedy is that you must form a council and put measures in place so that any condemned vampire or coven is given a fair hearing, so this can never happen again!"

The first time Alice said she forgave them they suddenly turned to look right at her, obviously coming out of their trance. After Alice finished speaking Aro said "Agreed Alice Cullen." He turned to Jane "We need to eat now Jane."

As several Humans were brought into the throne room. We all dashed out, but Alice and Carlisle stayed behind.

After several hours Alice came out. "Well baby, it looks like we are going to be here a while. Carlisle, and Maria are going to be on the new council along with Several of our friends so we are going to stay here for a while."

I embraced her "Alice, you are amazing. I love you so much, after what happened, for you to forgive them, and help the same ones who took Jasper from you, from us, I hope I learn your compassion some day, I do not think if it was me in your shoes and it was you I lost that I could forgive ever."

"Well, I am totally awesome, what can I say?" she smirked.

My jaw dropped. "Why you little stinker!" I kissed her then, stifling her giggles.

I knew we were going to be alright then. A very tense stand off, we were all still sad over our losses, but we knew life would go on, we would forever miss Jasper and Edward, but we would also remember the good times we had with them, and that would temper our grief.

Epilogue:

It has been several years now, and the council was well received around the world amongst the various covens. Vladimir and Stefan have each taken a seat on the council from time to time. I think they finally saw reason, and admitted that the day to day restrictions of ruling were a bother, and they have much more power and freedom now that the Volturi took over ruling they were actually done a favor.

Caius is still a hothead, wanting to kill everyone for every minor infraction, but the council has made it much more fair, and those vampires who simply made mistakes were pardoned, there were a few who just refused to live within the rules and had to be destroyed, but those few sad cases were the exception.

Alice and I have been around the world several times, and I have learned to love shopping too. Although Alice was devious, she got me to love shopping by giving me rewards after every trip, and the longer and more grueling the shopping the bigger the reward. All I will say about the rewards is wow, does Alice know how to please a woman!

A/N: Well, I hope you enjoyed my story, thank you tho those who review, and those who favorite my stories. I am glad you liked them!


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